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| Sunday, February 1, 2009 |
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An old picture I've looked at plenty of times. It's tiny and fuzzy but still too damn clear.
I'm in the middle. I have red socks falling down from my knees and a white polyster skirt and a red uni-gender shirt. There are shoelaces in my hair. Everything I'm wearing is ugly, united together to sum parts of greater ugly.
Look at the other little girls. I did, for the first time, when I scanned this photo. Look how their mother's did them up for the Christmas Program.
Sara like a antique doll in blue and white. Moon and Jamie like flashy new wave Mousketeers. You can't see Trish but she's carefully arranged in a red dress that flatters her size, with a swirl of neckerchief and salon-done hair.
I'm mad that my mom dressed me like that. In second hand shapeless clothes. I wasn't the poorest kid on that stage. I didn't have to look so hopeless, dressed without effort or interest to stand in front of the whole town.
It's weird to see photographic evidence that the way I've always felt, that slight off-beat, that not-quite-as-nice-as. Back then I thought it was just cuz I was fat. But that wasn't it.
Now I see the roots of my growing obsession that my daughter be the snappiest dressed toddler in any room. So she can grow a whole new neurosis of her own to write about someday. |
posted by Willy Sue @ 4:11 PM  |
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| 4 Comments: |
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You must have known then that you got srewed on the Christmas finery (as opposed to just now realizing), or else you'd laugh about it. Or maybe the other girls were "helpful" in your realization that your clothes kinda sucked.
That kid on the far right got a raw deal too. I wonder if his kids only wear Hannah Anderson.
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That's Sam. He's a gorgeous single dad who sells expensive fly rods for a living. I can't figure out why he was dressed like that...the year before he wore a little suit!
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I'm so glad you are here.
Thanks for coming and finding me. ;)
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You sure move fast. Cool.
I'm now wondering if i could find a picture of me in this situation and if i would stand out as ill-dressed.
Despite my mother's best attempts to shame me, i've never been very interested in clothes.
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You must have known then that you got srewed on the Christmas finery (as opposed to just now realizing), or else you'd laugh about it. Or maybe the other girls were "helpful" in your realization that your clothes kinda sucked.
That kid on the far right got a raw deal too. I wonder if his kids only wear Hannah Anderson.